The Rowdy Goddess

An Ecstatic Vision of the Goddess, dancing in harmony with the Universe.

Archive for the month “January, 2013”

31 Jan 2013
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Blessings, bright and Dark

Bright Blessings is a signature, greeting, and sign-off frequently used by pagans and Wiccans.  It’s a lovely way to send good wishes and blessings to readers, listeners, friends, and strangers.  Several years ago, I started signing my posts with “Blessings, bright and Dark,” in acknowledgement that the bright/light and the dark are all part of the one, each providing definition and understanding to the other.  In my way of thinking, the light reveals while the dark illuminates.  The light relentlessly demands our understanding of the facts and information while the dark asks that we reflect and deepen our understdark and light heronanding.  Realizing wisdom from the light is, perhaps, easier; while in the dark, you have to delve into the realm of the hidden.

In the dark, we have to soften our focus, lose our reliance on our sense of sight and learn to trust other senses outside the five.  Our intuition, perception and ability to guess (intuit) are senses we need to use.  In both the light and the dark we need to be strong and courageous in seeking wisdom and magic.  To me, the dark and the dark moon are paths to explore and it takes awhile to understand the nuance and texture of the dark.  It is not something to fear, even though we are taught that the dark is evil.

One of the High Priestesses of my acquaintance talked about the dark blessings.  Through difficult times, we become better, stronger, more sure of ourselves and more divine.  Lately, a number of us in my circle have been confronted with issues of aging, chronic pain, death, and disability.  For myself, I’ve learned not to fear words like stroke, surgery, cancer, and pain.  At this point, it was family member(s) and not me and I found the suffering of a bystander and loving person to have its own unique pain.  In addition to learning courage, I found humor, more love, and unexpected gifts and new stories to be told.  These blessings are not like winning the lottery to be greeted with unalloyed joy and exuberance, these dark blessings are ones that make our wounds and pains to be a thing of beauty and survival.  It’s a “gee thanks, I think,” kind of blessing.  Actually, it’s deeper and more profound than that.

Years ago, a former lover died suddenly and unexpectedly.  It was a tumultuous and difficult relationship so the grief was tempered with guilt, and anger.  The cantor who gave the eulogy said some beautiful things that touched me to my very soul.  I cannot remember all the words exactly but it went something like this:  It is not fair to lose someone from your life like this.  You will be different now.  You will be harder, and you will be softer; you will be uncertain and you will be more certain; you will be more negative and you will be more positive.  I made those words up from the well of wordless comfort she gave me.  What is says is that this touches you in such a way that you cannot help but be changed.  It will make you have a different texture.  Your understanding of yourself and life will be changed.  Such it is when the dark touches you and invites you into its realm.

To me, that is the call of the Dark Moon path.  To go into that realm of illumination and to be changed, to emerge different.  To face the darkness, the shadows and the hidden is to go courageously into that which frightens us, freaks us out and makes us more whole.

The dark and the light is a continuum not an opposition.  As Kallan Kennedy writes on The Secret Life of the American Working Witch, this misinterpretation of darkness and light has caused a sort of one-dimensional thinking.

Go bravely wherever you go

Into the dark or into the light

Learn from the bright blessed day

And the dark sacred night.

And everyday and in every way

You change, transform and make your mark

To you, blessings, bright and Dark.

Posted in Dark, Death, Light and tagged , , ,
30 Jan 2013

Welcome to the Never Live It Down Club

Welcome to the Never Live it Down Clubhouse
Source of the photo: http://www.greendump.net/

Families remember a lot about you. Sometimes even when you change, they remember and remind you of how you used to be. Like so many things, it’s a blessing and a curse. Depending on the emotions behind it, you land in the realms of forever guilty or in a land of warmth, laughter, and remembrance. It’s a fine line to walk, reliving these memories. Longtime friends can also be also create this living legacy of memories, joking nudges, and memories.   This whole thing can be fun and funny or sometimes just plain annoying.

Since I’m the oldest sister, I am the custodian of a lot of sibling and family memories.  Well, I’ve also been a memory-maker to the point where I believe I’m in the Never Live It Down Club Hall of Fame.  When I was nine or ten, I was in my grandmother’s front room (a place where children were not allowed to go without an adult) and I picked up a jar to look at, a forbidden activity.  The lid fell off and broke a little blue glass basket.  I felt really bad.  I don’t remember being punished but probably my remorse is punishment enough, memorywise.

When my grandmother returned, she fussed as only she can fuss.  Apparently the thing I picked up was cheap and what I broke was a collectible.  Luckily (not) she had two of them.   Later, in my thirties, I was at my grandmother’s visiting and an interesting incident occurred.  My grandmother was confined to her chair because of an injury and she was directing my aunt in rearranging something when my aunt knocked something over.  My grandmother fussed at her and we were all relieved it wasn’t broken.  “Don’t worry,” I said, “I broke a valuable collectible when I was 10.  You can’t top that.”  My aunt, still only recently married into the family, said, “I know.”

That’s when I knew that I was in the Never Live It Down Club.  The funny thing is that when my grandmother died and her stuff was divided up, my mother, her daughter, made sure that duplicate of the broken item came to me.  It is a treasured trophy of my club.

Of course as an older sister, I have stories.  Recently, I was visiting my mother and sharing some of the stories.  My mother’s memory isn’t as strong as it once was.  I was relating one story about my sister and she said, “I hope you’re writing all these down; some of them I haven’t heard.”  Perhaps I will.  I just like reminding people.  It’s my duty as the President and Hall of Famer of the Never Live It Down Club.

I am relating stories with love and affection and perhaps a little bit of “gotcha.”  I realize many memories that don’t get forgotten cause pain, sorrow, and guilt.  I can only hope that time and love will help assuage them.  In my world, the Never Live It Down Club is only for happy memories.  The other ones are ones we need to let go and transform into something better.

 

Posted in Family and tagged , , | Leave a comment
29 Jan 2013
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The Horned God, a Teacher for Winter

Image

Source for the picture: http://dhodgepodge.deviantart.com/art/The-Horned-God-307591789

The Horned God is the evocative name a 20th century melding of several ancient images of gods such as Cernunos, Herne the Hunter, Pan, Dionysus, Janus, and Green Man.  Not much exists in writing and the oral tradition has been lost, so modern pagans worship the male energy force of winter as the Horned God.  He is the Great Father, the Lord of Winter with sovereignty of the male aspect of creation and fertility.  He has the power of creation and destruction.  He harvests the land of dead animals and cares for the land in the cold dark of winter.While the Horned God may be a modern derivation of ancient images, the ancient and powerful life (and death) force her represents remains present in our world and in our lives.

The Charge of the Horned God

Hear now the charge of the Horned God,

I who am called Lord of the Wild Hunt, Herne, Cernunnos, Pan, Janus and many other names.

Know that I am here and present in the winter of your lives,

Guiding, harvesting, and knowing you soul.

Be strong of heart and body in the cold and dark

And you will be stronger still in the light and warmth.

Be in tune with the turning of the Wheel

And live each season according to its turning.

Tune your life to the rhythms of the world

And you will know my creation, my destruction

And my love.

My touch may be cold, but it will warm you soul

With connection, power, and strength.

Be compassionate with those who are weaker

And be understanding of those you do not comprehend.

Know the mystery of contradiction

And live in the rhythm and melding of opposing forces.

Live the short days and rest peaceful in the long nights.

Be one with me and know peace.

Blessed be

 

Posted in God of Wicca, Wicca and tagged , ,
28 Jan 2013
3 Comments

Caillech, The Hag of Winter

When I got in the car this morning, the car’s onboard temperature gauge said 25 degrees Farenheit.  I often complain that these enhancements to automobiles are really TMI (too much information) for the early morning commute.  But that temperature is a whole lot better than the negative 9 last week and the single digits that went on until this Sunday. The whole landscape is frigid and cold. We are all bundled up and trundle through our worlds trailing hats and gloves and all sorts of things as we don and shed our layers depending on the temperature and the weather.

When I called my mother this past weekend I asked her if she’d gotten any snow. She said they’d had a little but it had all melted. I told her we had a lot of snow on the ground and it would snow a little every day until — pause — forever. She laughed and said it must feel that way. Yesterday, the young men of the family across the road cleared off their frozen pond and played ice hockey most of the day, taking advantage of the bright sunshine and making a lot of fun out of the freezing cold. It was fun to watch from my warm comfortable kitchen window.

My circle is practicing living in harmony with the seasons this year. Each quarter we have a “sponsor” or two. Deities that help us understand what qualities and essences we are studying. The gods we work with give us a charge. I find that They usually evokes in me some creative work. Caillech is our sponsor for the winter.

I first met her many years ago when I was taking an advanced course on Wicca, emphasizing telling our stories. It was a time when I was still adapting to the hard winters in Central New York. She appealed to me with her ability to shift and change, the shawl about her shoulders, and her ability to survive and thrive in the hard landscapes, along with her gracious relinquishment of power in the springtime. As I told her story, I became her and channeled her wisdom. It was a very special moment of embodiment of the Goddess.

In all the Celtic myths and legends, there are variations of the Cailleach, the ruler of Winter. She appears at Samhain and rules and protects the world, the weather, the land and the animals. At Beltane, the Brighide appears and Cailleach hides beneath a holly bush. When she enters the world, she brings death, sharp storms, ice, and snow. She created the lakes, streams and rivers; and the rocky cairns fell from her apron.

The world is hers beginning at Samhain. Her staff, when it strikes the land, turns everything into ice and snow. She is especially protective of wolves and deer as she moves through the land though all animals are in her heart. She herds the deer and protects them. Swine, wild goats, and wild cattle are also her creatures. She is the great ancient earth mother, the embodiment of the Dark Mother archetype, who destroys, creates, and destroys. When she first appears, she is wearing a great plaid over her shoulder. She starts to wash her plaid and when she is finished, it is pure white and the land is covered in snow and frost.

Her name means “hag,” “old woman,” or “old wife” in Gaelic. There are many variations and legends found throughout the Celtic speaking lands. She has the ability to transform from old woman to a beautiful one according to her mood; and her moods change the weather and the land.

The Charge of the Goddess Cailleach

Hear now the charge of the Goddess Cailleach,
I who am known as the Ancient Earth, the Hag,
And the Old Woman do tell you and instruct you.
Do not be afraid of my wild moods and changes
Just as you should not be afraid of your own.
Find creation in all death and destruction
And find beauty in the bleak, cold, deadness of winter.
Guard and protect what is dear to you
As I do with the animals of the earth;
And find comfort and strength
In the changes of your loved ones
Even as their transformations may wound you
And change you.

Always know that
In the stark coldness of bitter storms and frigid land,
There is beauty and hidden treasures.
Look beneath cairns of your life
To find the hidden riches.
Celebrate the joys and the sorrows
For as death and destruction is brought forth,
So is new creation and joy.
Be blessed in all aspects of your life
And be beloved by yourself and those you love.
Blessed Be.

May you find joy and blessings in the harshest and sweetest moments. 

Posted in Rowdy Goddess and tagged , , , ,
24 Jan 2013
1 Comment

Hibernation and Polar Bear Totem

polar bear swmiingPolar bears are hunters and survivors. They thrive in a wintery environment of frozen grounds and water. Polar bears are fearsome protectors of their young and aggressively forage for food in the water, town garbage heaps or wherever they might find nourishment and protection. They fascinate us with their size, power, habits and ability to adapt and survive.

Polar bear wisdom draws from their expertise in swimming, ability to thrive in a stark landscape and their attitude towards others of their kind. Polar bears are able to navigate the Earth’s magnetic line, emotional waters, and finding a way back from the brink of danger. Polar bear wisdom is about solitude and the ability to find sustenance in the most austere places. They communicate through dreams and understand life, rebirth, and transformation. They are good providers and protectors of their families and their wisdom informs defenses and revenge energy.

In the January 2008 Llewellyn Witches Calendar, I wrote, “Polar bears have adapted to a world where the cold is eternal and daytime and nighttime have no meaning. In the Arctic, the summers are 24 hours of light and the winters are 24 hours of dark. Unlike other bears, the polar bear is able to go into hibernation when food is scarce and become active when abundance returns, using what is called “walking hibernation.” They lower their temperature and hibernate as needed, for a few days or longer. Only pregnant polar bears seek the protection of a dean, and they create a two-chambered tunnel in the snow banks where they birth their cubs. Polar bear sleeping habits include naps; they often sleep for short stretches during the day, since their prey is active at night. Napping helps conserve energy which is swiftly expended as they hunt. They sleep during winter storms and they sleep after play.”

My own personal discovery of the polar bear was through shamanic journeywork. In a class, a classmate retrieved a power animal for me which turned out to be my guardian spirit: the polar bear. I had been to the National Zoo the week before and spent a long time at the polar bear habitat. You could walk underground and see them as they swam beneath the water. At the time, I was swimming a lot and I thought, “Polar bear is like me, flabby but graceful underwater!”

Come play with me on the long winters night
Come hunt with me through darkness and light.
Be strong with me in loving protection
Be fierce with me in introspection.
Find the rhythm of life and death
Find the heart of it all, in all its breadth.
Swim in the waters’ depths to transform and restore
Be fluid and tranquil as you change even more!
Come play with me on the long summers day
Let anxiety and worry float far away
Be one with the Universe, in love and grace
You are happiness and power, all in one place.

Posted in Goddess and tagged , , , ,
23 Jan 2013
4 Comments

I MEANT to Do it That Way!

polar bear prat fall

My friends call some of my consistent and repeated sayings, “Gailisms.”  My family does too!  One of my favorites is:  I meant to do it that way, or I meant to do it that way, or [louder] I MEANT to do it that way!

I picked up this expression when I took belly dancing for awhile from the marvelous June Seavey.  She is a wonderful dancer and teacher, putting me at ease at once by saying that oriental dance is for every body and every body type.  She’s the leader of a troupe or two and performs exentensively.  And she’s a very kind teacher telling me once that “your hips just want to have fun.”

I am not a graceful person.  While I like to think I’m not clumsy, the fact of the matter is that I trip, walk slow, and generally look dorky in motion.  I don’t care, I love to dance.  My hips do want to have fun!

One session, June did a dance performance for us in full, beautiful costume.  It was wonderful.  Then she started demonstrating some of the pitfalls of live performance and how she recovered from it.  “Oh I dropped my veil,”  and she gracefully danced and picked it up, “And I meant to do it that way!”  And so on through several mistakes!

I have found this very useful in public speaking and in facilitating pagan ritual.  I have stumbled over words, knocked over a chalice spilling water, lost my place in a wedding ceremony,  forgotten essential ritual items, the candles won’t light and so forth.   In order to keep the flow of energy going as well as the flow of attention and intention, it’s important not to dwell on these as mistakes but as a bump that you go over and continue on.  Above all else, it’s important not to stop the ‘action’ and dwell on the error or waste time fixing what can’t be mended.  Thus, the coping mechanism [and comfort] is:  I meant to do it that way!

It is, of course, important to learn from your mistakes and do better the next time. It is not useful to dwell on the errors and castigate yourself. There’s no point in self flagellation and self-loathing, other than to make yourself feel bad. You pick yourself up, clean up and either start over or move on. If you need to apologize, you say so. Otherwise, just act like you meant to do it that way.

May your day be full of self blessing and whatever happens, you meant to do it that way!

Posted in Goddess and tagged , , ,
22 Jan 2013
3 Comments

Return and Moving the Rowdy Goddess

I haven’t done a blog post for 18 months.  It’s not that I don’t have anything to say, but perhaps I have too much to say.  Or something.  I’m a librarian and as one, I like to categorize, organize and generally create a coherent way of conveying information and thought.  That’s what stops me.  I have so many interest:  Wicca; embroidery; quilting; dogs; Goddessy stuff; books; shamanic practice;  reading; libraries; Tarot; divination; writing; and whatever else captures my grasshopper mind– a mind that hops from one thing to another and back again.

arachne at her loom

 

I want to write about life and creativity and whatever else comes to mind!  But how to organize it and make it coherent.  That stalls me.  So today, as ideas crowd through my head, I decided.  What is the Rowdy Goddess after all but an amalgam of all that things that make us goddess and make us rowdy?  So I’ve decided to toss it all in the cauldron and see what bubbles up and catches other people’s attention.  Some of it will bore you and some of it will interest you and it will be all woven together in a mishmash of what is found inside!  Rest assured that it will be rowdy.

So the new intention begins in a new space.  Hail and welcome.

Posted in Goddess

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