The Rowdy Goddess

An Ecstatic Vision of the Goddess, dancing in harmony with the Universe.

Archive for the tag “forgiveness”

Imagine Your Life Into Be-ing

Thursday is the start of Womongathering, a wonderful womon’s spirituality retreat. For four days, we gather to learn, to contemplate and to celebrate. It’s where the Rowdy Goddesses hang out to laugh, cry and eat chocolate. This year’s theme is Air and the Maiden goddess.
Air has many associations including intellect, imagination and intuition. Clarity through the mind (intellect), magical thought (imagination) and connected thought (intuition).
I learned a lot about the power of the mind and intuition at Akasha Con in March. One of the speakers, Priscilla Keresey gave two wonderful workshops on creating your life and living out your intentions.
In the first workshop she began by talking about the triplicity of the mind–conscious, subconcious, and unconcious–and how the three areas work together. The conscious mind is the place of rationalization, will-power, short-term memory, analysis, and focus. The subconscious is the home of our valies, beliefs, body functions, and long-term memory. The subconscious records everything that ever happened to us, without the filters of rationalization, focus or analysis. The unconscious our connection to the Source, and where we know the words of the gospel that say, “all this you can do and more.” Imagination!
Manifesting your imagination or desired life is based on the law of attraction, a physical law of the Universe that says, “Like calls to like.” What you put out there will come to you. Your thoughts, beliefs, words and action create vibrations within you. As you vibrate with this energy, similar energy is called to attention and comes to you. Feelings are how we create this vibration and they don’t think with the conscious mind, they are creatures of the subconscious. Once you are happy, then you will get what you want!
We are our own worst enemies. She said for many who want to lose weight and no matter how hard they try, it’s because emotionally they are convinced they are fat. If you tell yourself that you are beautiful and maintain the thoughts and language that reinforce that feeling, then you will get what you want.
Priscilla focused on money as examples. She said that if you are in a bad mood paying your bills, the Universe is unlikely to send you anything good. Always be positive and happy when you pay your bills. And then be grateful.
I touched on this when I talked about luck. Say it and forget it. For instance, if you want the money to go to a class. Say to the Universe, I wish for the money to go the ‘whatever it is.’ Then don’t doubt, let it go and let it be. Act as if it has already happened. Don’t think, “when I lose weight I’ll be beautiful;” think, “I am beatiful.” It will happen.
When it does happen, be grateful.Thank the Universe and the powers you believe in. In short, these are the steps to manifesting your imagination:

  • State your desire in positive, present tense way
  • Act as if it has already happened [don’t worry it like a dog with a bone]
  • Thank the Universe

I found this very life-changing. I realized that even though I know all of that stuff, I don’t KNOW it deep down in my blood and my bones. I make self-depricating remarkes about my thunder things (NO MORE) and I’d tell myself in the mirror that I was ugly and fat (NO MORE). I vowed then that I would no longer lend my power and my energy to negative talk about my body. I have maintained that since then. I lost five pounds in May. Whoo hoo. Thank you Universe.

When I returned, I started doing my daily (or almost) altar devotions in a new way. I’d end it with affirmations about my health and body, and whatever else is necessary. I do my altar devotions in the morning while I’m getting dressed. I use no tools just me, the elements and the Lord and the Lady. Priscilla pointed out that the perfect time to send our affirmations out into the Universe are the times just before we go to sleep and right after we wake up. We are closest to the state of unconscious then and our mind has yet to build up the barriers between each section and the Source. We are in a trance, and its time to step into the Cosmic Dance and wish.

Deep River Woman

Deep River Woman

I love rivers. Actually I love all bodies of water, but rivers are very special. The Severn and the Susquehanna are all rivers in the journeys of my life. Following them, crossing them and diving into them. Taking the waters and moving with them and finding wisdom and peace as I interact with them.
I’m just back from Aksasha Con sponsored by The Dreaming Goddess in Poughkeepsie, NY [], a wonderful conference that shifted time and transformed me. I’ll talk about that over the next couple of weeks, and drop some names, a fun thing to do. More importantly, I’ll talk about how the magic of that gathering created an alchemy and fired transformation. But first I want to talk about the Akasha Con opening ritual in 2004 and my connection to the Hudson River. Flow with me as I tell the story.
Several years ago I was with a man who was damaged and our relationship, which included a lengthy attempt by me to end it, was difficult, stormy, and painful. He died very suddenly, a young and fit man. Long story that included my dance with Sekhmet if you see an earlier blog entry. When he was alive he was difficult and so was his death.
I met his parents for the first time after his death when I went to their place near the Hudson River, about 3.5 hours from where I live. I went alone even though they told me I could bring a friend because, as I said, I was in the relationship alone. Unsupported by my friends, the relationship was a lonely one because even he wasn’t in it. So I met his parents and it was clear that their disappointment and grief over their son extended to me. They were a family that prized fitness and my tall, round body was a disappointment. I had none of the grace or athleticism they expected their son to be in love with, another reason to be disappointed in him. That coupled with their bewilderment over losing a second child– a difficult one– at an early age made for a very strange and awkward visit.
They took me out in their boat. We motored into the Hudson River where the water was deep and gently flowing. Alone, I jumped into the water, feeling the shock of the mildly cold water take my breath away. I couldn’t hear them and for some reason, my inner critical voice was silenced in the presence of this large, primal river. The river held me and rocked me and I moved slowly through the water feeling the vastness of the Universe envelope my body and rush over my skin. It was comforting, sensual and calming. I realized then and there that the Universe was too large and too vast for my resentments and sense of betrayal. I deserved to feel that way and I felt that my feelings were acknowledged and honored, but I also knew that clinging to them was petty and not right for someone who wanted to dance in the ecstacy of the Universe.
So there in the middle of the river, surrounded by banks of lush old trees, I asked the Universe to help me. I gave over me feelings and asked for peace. Then I could hear the harmony singing in the quiet river. I recognized that they were doing the best they could as they struggled and so was I. I understood forgiveness and I asked the River to help me find forgiveness in me for him. The River and the Universe answered my prayer over the next long months.
That was in 1998 and in 2004, I went back to that area. Poughkeepsie is only 11 miles away. The opening ritual was fabulous and was aimed at honoring their River, the Hudson. So I was able to stand at the altar and express my silent, vast gratitude for the River. The Deep River flows inside me as I sing its song as best I can. For that understanding and magic, I thank the Ancient Ones Above and of the Waters for their wisdom and live.

May you find your own deep power.

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