The Rowdy Goddess

An Ecstatic Vision of the Goddess, dancing in harmony with the Universe.

Archive for the tag “Gailisms”

01 Mar 2013
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Blessed Be My Plan B

Business plan - woman drawingPlanning is important and I’m a good planner.  I also like to be flexible so that if an opportunity presents itself, I can take advantage of that spontaneously.

A good example of that in ritual was a big deal ritual my coven did for our tradition-wide gathering.  At the time, we were a brand new coven and while I was not new to group gatherings and leadership, this was a venue where I wanted us to excel and shine.  We would be doing the ritual for the gathering of our entire tradition including our elders and founders.   It was daunting, but I knew we could do it and do it fabulously well.

So we rehearsed and rehearsed and rehearsed.  Our group was still learning how to be a coven together and how to do ritual so a big one was intimidating.  As part of the learning and rehearsal, we also practiced how to work through mistakes — keep on going and act like it was meant to be that way.    We where rehearsing right up to the last minute.  It was a little tense and we were all a little bit nervous.  Or maybe a lot.

And the ritual went really, really well!  There were a couple of misspeaks and the priestess went through it like it was meant to be that way.  When we finished the spiral dance and raised a lot of energy, an inspiration came to me.  And I said (for the benefit of the well-rehearsed covener), “I’m going a little off script,” and launched into the unofficial chant of our tradition which raised some incredible magic and energy.  And that is an example of good planning and the ability to be open to spontaneous inspiritation.

Another aspect of planning is being able to pick up the pieces when things go wrong.  “I always have a Plan B” is a Gailism.  It’s part of my professional training, a side effect of working with technology.  What if you plan a ritual and a key person doesn’t show up?  Plan B.  What if you forget to put water in the chalice:  Plan B is to pretend it’s there.  What if you knock over the chalice full of water?  What if you forget which vial contains water, which contains wine, and which contains oil?  Smell it or pretend [Plan B].  What if it rains on your outdoor ritual.  Plan B.

Sometimes you need a Plan C, D, or E.  Just being willing to be aware that things may change is an important part of planning.  It might not be necessary to have a full alternate plan, but rather to have the ability to draw on the well of experience, creativity, and spontaneous growth.  The new inspiriation is always there.  One time I went to a ritual and the priestess didn’t show up.  It turned out she was ill and unable to get out of bed.  So a group of us, some of whom had driven two or more hours, were ready to go about our business.  Wait!  I had a key to the building, so we decided to do the ritual.

We all went to our cars and pulled out blankets and pieces of this and that and pulled together an altar.  I had a Tarot deck and a traveling altar.  One woman had some pretty nifty Pagan stuff in her trunk.  We put together a really good ritual and the performance by a group of people who didn’t know each other was a very enriching experience.

So be ready with Plan A, B, C, and more.  All we need to do is learn our ABCs and draw on our creative power and good intentful heart.  Blessed Be the Plan B!

Posted in Planning, Ritual, spiritual practice, Wicca and tagged , , ,
26 Feb 2013
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I Guess We Don’t Have To Do That Again

Einstein-on-insanityI’ve been talking to several people in different parts of my life about this statement:  “I guess we won’t have to do that again.”  It’s from my mother and it is considered another “Gailism.”  It is one of my mother’s classic phrases.   I first remember her using it when we went to this sub shop that we had heard about for years.  The food was supposed to be fabulous and wonderful.  It was some distance from our house and when we finally got to go there to eat, it was clear they were getting ready to close permanently.

It was a weird atmosphere and the food was lackluster and tasteless.  At the end of our meal, my mother said deadpan:  I guess we don’t have to do that again.”  Such dry humor, layered irony, and ruefulness.  We didn’t get to eat out much so a special treat really fell flat.  In so many ways.

And, of course, there is great wisdom in that statement.  We do not have to repeat bad experiences, we can move on, and we can live through disappointment.  And in my family, we move through disappointment into laughter as quickly as possible.  The statement is reminiscent of the definition of insanity attributed to Albert Einstein:  Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.  As human beings, we do that so often.  We choose the same path, the same type of significant other, the same diet and so forth.  Then we wonder why there’s not better or different results.

In our wisdom, we do learn from our errors, our wrong choices, or even choices that were right at the time but wrong now.  Hooray for us!  We can move on to make new mistakes and new choices and to expereience more neSix of Wandsw [insert rude adjective] growth opportunities.  It’s our ability to learn from the past and embrace new choices that make us stronger and wiser.

Sometimes those old issues and errors fool us.  As one friend puts it, the mistakes get dressed up in new party clothes and seduce us again.  If we are smart and if we are lucky, we recognize the old thing in the new duds and catch ourselves before we fall.  Sometimes we learn that there are issues that repeat for us and we need to go deeper to learn the meaning of that for us.  The human experience is rich in texture and scars.

When we triumph over our old errors, the phrase “I guess I don’t have to do that again,” becomes an anthem of victory and accomplishment.  We can move from the irony of that statement into a celebration of the richness of our own experiential lives.

The Six of Wands in the Tarot is a victory card.  It depicts the celebration and triumph of a fight well fought and fairly won.  The funny thing is, the figure in the card is looking to the future and for more things to overcome.  But in this moment, he is taking the time to dress up and celebrate his scars and his resilience.

Posted in quotations, Tarot and tagged , , , ,
13 Feb 2013
4 Comments

Using My Powers For Good….and not for Evil!

As I’ve mentioned before, I have some expressions that my Source of image: http://annetaintor.com/ friends have dubbed Gailisms.  For the most part, most of these expressions have a story behind it or it is really an expression used by my family.  I love stories.  I love to tell them and I love to hear them.  A good portion of my family are storyteller — telling stories about each other and on each other.  To me, geneology is boring a sort of family organizational chart.  What I love are the pictures and stories.  In my family, when we show each other a photo or a drawing made by one of us, we know a story is going to be told.  This habit and method of communication extends to my family of choice as well.  In this way, we create community or tribe.

Many years ago, my youngest brother was telling me about three incidents that involved his thinking bad thoughts and having them come true.  I don’t remember the incidents exactly anymore but it involved things like, “you’re going to get hurt doing that,” and then the other person gets hurt.  He was talking to me on the phone about these situations and I quipped, “You should use your powers for good and not for evil.”  From that point on, if he was nervous about something, he’d email me or say, “Use your powers,” or “I’m using my powers.”  Then my sister picked it up and it became a family expression.

The use of this expression has extended to my work.  We are holding a raffle fundraiser for our social committee in celebration of Valentine’s day.  The prize is a basket of wine and chocoloate.  When a young coworker came in to buy his tickets, he said he’d better win.

I said, “Too late, I’m using my powers.”

And he said, “Are you using your powers against me?”

“No I’m using my powers for MY good.”

Obviously the application of this statement has infinite variety and opportunity for cleverness (at least in my mind).

This was around the time I went from a solitary to a Pagan active in a community and this quip took on new power.  As Wiccans and Pagans, we believe we do have the ability to create change by bending our thoughts and will to the change we want or need.  We also try to use our abilities (powers) in harmony with the Universe.  When our actions follow the trail of our mind and the Universe, we create magical change.  Then, for me, the quip, “using my powers for good and not for evil,” took on a more textured meaning.  It acknowledges that we, as humans, do have the power to effect our lives and the world around us, and that we need to act responsibly and  with gratitude and compassion.

I’ve also quipped that you can tell when it’s going to be a bad movie if the characters over-pronounce certain words:  Goddess becomes gawDESS and evil becomes eeeeeeevvvvvvilllllllllle (long, very long e).

So when using your powers, know that it is prounounced EEEEEEVILLLLLLLLE.

Posted in Family, Magic, Wicca and tagged , , , ,
01 Feb 2013
5 Comments

Not for Sissies

Growing old I love this picture.  It’s from a photography book published in the eighties or people of the older generation.  I have this as a poster in my downstairs bathroom and the caption reads, Growing Old is Not for Sissies.”  It’s in the bathroom because the room is decorated with all kinds of mermaids.  She is one.  Old, fit, pensive, and dripping wet.  I love to swim.  She is a mermaid in all her aged mystery, energy, and power.

“Growing old is not for sissies is a quote from the inimitable actress Bette Davis.  If you are not familiar with her work, she played strong women with great flair.  I’ve learned as I grow older, that I have to explain my allusions and references.  When I was younger, I could assume that almost anyone would know who Bette Davis was.  Now, I’m not so sure.  It was a weird and lonely realization that I am talking to generations who do not share my past, my cultural references, or what I used to think was common knowledge.  No matter, I’m not afraid to explain.  One of the other realizations I’ve had is that I’ve become like those oldsters when I was a kid,  telling long, boring stories with no particular point.  I’m not afraid to bore you with them because I’m enjoying my own stories.  Apparently talking to me and being my friend or acquaintance is not for sissies, either.

There are a lot of things in life not for sissies.  We need courage to be our authentic selves and to engage in life.  Wicca is not for sissies.  You probably judge me as wrong because Wicca has an underserved reputation as all love and light, being dubbed “fluffy-bunny.”  To be sure, there are people determined, in the name of Wicca, to turn a blind eye to the dark and negative, people who are afraid to confront their own stuff.  However, there are many more who are bravely engaged in the magic of change.

Many people believe Wicca is unrealistic and fluffy because of the ethical statement, As it harm none, do what you will.  On the surface it may seem to be an unrealistic “law.”  It’s not possible to harm none.  I think of the Rede as a guideline or a standard, but more than that, it is a call to be responsible for our actions, decisions, and indecision.  The gods that call us to their service demand much of us.  We must be courageous to walk this path of “making your own religion” because we have no set of commandments to tell us what to do.  We endure the consequences of our bad decisions and reap the bounty of our good ones.  It’s all part of the flow of universal life energy.

Think about all the things you pursue that you don’t want to or you think it’s too hard.  Either you have to or you want to with a passion, so you put on your big girl/boy clothes and get on with it.  You have moved out of your comfort zone and into the realm of accomplishment, bravery, and wisdom.  You are in a sissie-free zone.

My favorite Bette Davis movie is All About Eve where she says, “Fasten your Seatbelt, it’s going to be a bumpy night!”  She’s a Rowdy Goddess for sure.

 

Posted in Rowdy Goddess, Uncategorized, Wicca and tagged , , , , , , ,
23 Jan 2013
4 Comments

I MEANT to Do it That Way!

polar bear prat fall

My friends call some of my consistent and repeated sayings, “Gailisms.”  My family does too!  One of my favorites is:  I meant to do it that way, or I meant to do it that way, or [louder] I MEANT to do it that way!

I picked up this expression when I took belly dancing for awhile from the marvelous June Seavey.  She is a wonderful dancer and teacher, putting me at ease at once by saying that oriental dance is for every body and every body type.  She’s the leader of a troupe or two and performs exentensively.  And she’s a very kind teacher telling me once that “your hips just want to have fun.”

I am not a graceful person.  While I like to think I’m not clumsy, the fact of the matter is that I trip, walk slow, and generally look dorky in motion.  I don’t care, I love to dance.  My hips do want to have fun!

One session, June did a dance performance for us in full, beautiful costume.  It was wonderful.  Then she started demonstrating some of the pitfalls of live performance and how she recovered from it.  “Oh I dropped my veil,”  and she gracefully danced and picked it up, “And I meant to do it that way!”  And so on through several mistakes!

I have found this very useful in public speaking and in facilitating pagan ritual.  I have stumbled over words, knocked over a chalice spilling water, lost my place in a wedding ceremony,  forgotten essential ritual items, the candles won’t light and so forth.   In order to keep the flow of energy going as well as the flow of attention and intention, it’s important not to dwell on these as mistakes but as a bump that you go over and continue on.  Above all else, it’s important not to stop the ‘action’ and dwell on the error or waste time fixing what can’t be mended.  Thus, the coping mechanism [and comfort] is:  I meant to do it that way!

It is, of course, important to learn from your mistakes and do better the next time. It is not useful to dwell on the errors and castigate yourself. There’s no point in self flagellation and self-loathing, other than to make yourself feel bad. You pick yourself up, clean up and either start over or move on. If you need to apologize, you say so. Otherwise, just act like you meant to do it that way.

May your day be full of self blessing and whatever happens, you meant to do it that way!

Posted in Goddess and tagged , , ,
21 May 2011
5 Comments

The Wisdom of the Dumpter, or, See What Happens When You Take Out the Garbage

Several–more than ten– years ago, I was in a difficult and intense relationship that was ending badly. Actually, the fact that it was not ending was really the problem. I have on occasion referred to this man as “my stalker,” since he would not go away. He suddenly died while he was on vacation in another state. Then I was pitched into a whirlpool of emotions, confusion, and adjustments. It was complicated by many factors.

I learned many things: the value of shock; my own strength; the kindness of strangers; the harshness of others; and how to be a deep feeling human being. It took a while to emerge from those emotions.

Then one day, I realized that I had integrated those feelings, emotions, and knowledge. I was whole again. Hearts knit back together with awesome strength and beauty. I realized that I had given away much of his stuff, burned some, and kept some. That night was the night to take the garbage out, so I got out a bag and gathered up anything that still did not belong to this whole me. I took it out to the curb and it was hauled away. It was an act of power and it was a spell.

Just because I was heart-whole didn’t mean I was seeking relationships. I’ve always been a little laggard in that area. A couple of new men had come into our circle and while there was a lot of interest in them around me, I didn’t really consider dating a situation that applied to me. At a gathering, a friend returned a deck of Tarot to me. Since there was a lull in the activities, I did a card reading for myself. The possible outcome was Ace of Cups. I rolled my eyes.

It was clear shortly afterwards that one man was very interesting and was interested in me. We did connect and that man is now my husband. A fabulous, passionate, fun love story then and now. When I tell the story of how we met, I often follow it with “See what happens when you take out the garbage.”

Our stuff is a potent teacher. George Carlin has a classic stand-up routine about stuff.  This routine has a lot of wisdom, at least to me. I have a lot of stuff. I inherited a lot, bought stuff, and was gifted stuff. I spent a lot of money and time acquiring stuff. I spend a lot of time moving stuff, organizing stuff, and (not) using stuff. Lately though, I’ve felt I’ve got too much. I don’t want to move it and I’d rather spend my time doing other things.

In November, my husband and I had a lot of words about stuff. While it was a little impassioned, we came out with a constructive solution. We rented a dumpster. It was a wonderful, miraculous thing to happen. We cleared out a lot of broken things, a lot of things not used, and things that no longer served us. It was difficult. I had to make up some rules. A friend came over to help and before she came in the door, I told her THE RULE: you are not allowed to ask me if I’m sure I want to get rid of this. If it’s ready to go, I’m done. If I rethink my decision, it will go back in the house. That one rule was simple, effective and quite a blessing.

I also donated a lot of books to the local Friends of the Library, to a local sewing recycling place, and to the Salvation Army. Blessed be them!

I still have a lot of stuff. I’m still passing along clothes, books, and other things. It’s easier now that I’ve been initiated into the wisdom of the dumpster. I feel like I have more space to expand, more time, and can relax more. I’ve had a corollary story about stuff, throwing out and dumpsters at my job. Obviously, the Universe believes this is one lesson that keeps on teaching! Ordinary things can teach us so much.

May all your lessons be gentle, ordinary, and deep!

Posted in stuff and tagged , ,
13 Feb 2009

Why Do When You Can Overdo?

I am a big fan of the show Clean House on the Style Network. It makes me feel good about my massive amounts of stuff. A lot of mine is put away and I do have clear floor space (when it’s not covered by dog). One of the show’s experts is the yard sale Diva, Trish Suhr, who is from Kentucky and retains a strong accent; her words are delivered in a raspy, husky voice. In a recent episode, they are helping a family who were from India to clean up their clutter. Because the lady of the house owned many, many saris, Trish decided to have a theme of “Bollywood” for the yard sale, saying, “Why do when you can overdo?!” It was delivered in this wonderful accent of rocks, hills, and hollers.

My rowdy goddess posse has adopted this as a theme and one of our sayings! Why do when you can overdo is the essence of rowdiness. Gaudy, bawdy, glittery fun. Don’t just do it, go over the top, over do it. It’s all about enthusiasm. Enthusiasm of the things that capture our hearts and imagination infuses us with the will and desire to achieve, to know more, be more, and find more. Enthusiasm is what drives us to immerse ourselves in what captivates us. It is an important part of a passionate, goddess-touched life.

Exuberance is another part of this rowdy part of doing and overdoing. Exuberance is the bounce we have when we are totally in the moment with our enthusiasm. It is part of the ecstatic living of the shaman, the witch, and the goddess-touched. I gave one of my friends a gaudy acessory to wear out in public at her birthday outing. She put it on and said, “I’ll wear it out.” To which I replied, “Of course you will.” We got there and she put it on. A little girl sitting in the restaurant with her mother was watching and her face lit up as my friend donned her gaudy, glittery hairpiece and modeled, saying, “Why do when you can overdo.” The little girl took that in and smiled widely. She became goddess-touched, rowdy, and understood the exuberance that is living in joy.
May you find your bounce and live enthusiastically today and everyday!
(oh by the way, even filled with enthusiasm and exuberance, we still need to put our stuff away!)
Posted in Rowdy Goddess, stuff and tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

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